


This could get messy (I don't seem to mind)

by gunboots



Series: I'm Such a Fool for Sacrifice [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Emotional Baggage, F/M, M/M, Mentions of PTSD, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tony needs to just stop complicating things tbh, Unhealthy Relationships, praise kink that could also be seen as emotional dependence on Tony's part I guess, there's actually no sex, this is all just sad bad tony stark breakdown hour, tony feeling up the spidey suit, warnings for discussions of teenage sexual non-escapades
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 12:02:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6984271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunboots/pseuds/gunboots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony considers him for a minute, then does the decent thing and asks the loaded question.</p><p>“Are you asking me to be your date...to prom?”</p><p>“Oh yeah, that’d go so well—I’d love to start a riot at my school.”</p><p>“So then—”</p><p>“—You doing anything <em>AFTER</em>?” Peter looks at him, both hopeful and some failed attempt at sultry.</p><p>It’s sadly endearing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This could get messy (I don't seem to mind)

**Author's Note:**

> I guess I should emphasize again that **this is an AU after Civil War where Cap and the others never join the Avengers again and Peter is now 18**. _**Please mind that tags above and the warnings that follow.**_ This fanfic started out as just Tony's side of the last story...then it got sad and then happy I guess. Really I just wanted to discuss Tony's issues and hangups and we ended up here. I have no idea. Also yes, that is Tony Stark playing Neko Atsume.
> 
> Anyways thanks to [span](http://archiveofourown.org/users/spirograph) and [fish](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fishew) for the edits and general readovers. Thanks to Twitter for enabling me on bad, sad Tony Stark feelings you know who you fucking are. Title is from "Hands Clean" from Alanis Morissette because it was either that or Banks.

Peter isn’t naïve, for all Tony’s jokes and jabs—he’s far more clever than a lot of people Tony’s dealt with in his life—he’s also a smartass. For all of Tony’s fears of corrupting minors and innocence lost, Peter so loves to call him out. And they are valid fears, Tony…despite all the accusations and implications ( _fuck you forever TMZ_ )…didn’t set out to seduce Peter. He still hasn’t told Peter the only reason he approached him in the first place was out of a desperate need to capture Captain America and his not-so-merry band of misfits (he never will—but he has a feeling Peter knows).  

Despite the ‘sugar daddy’ accusations that the gossip mags still throw at him (it should be funny, yet isn’t) he barely saw him as a kid, let alone as some nubile virgin. Tony never even considered a relationship because there had been Pepper but even before her there was a world to save and his friends to save and then he’d failed all of them and well…then Pepper was gone.

Sometimes Tony half wonders if he’s about to initiate Peter any day now to the rogues’ gallery of his exes given his tendency to make relationships go south.

Tony isn’t sure why he doesn’t put a stop to it—alright, lie. He _KNOWS_ why he doesn’t put a stop to it even if he should. Still, he does… feel guilty, feels guiltier for feeling other emotions besides guilt at the knowledge he took Peter Parker’s virginity but that’s less of a virgin kink and more of a Peter kink.

Oh god, even in his head it sounds terrible.

*

Peter is graduating in a few months—with a full ride to MIT that Tony could have had a bigger hand in securing for him, but Peter gets weird about handouts so he’d stayed out of it—he’s graduating in a few months and Tony feels conflicted.

Conflicted is a nice, simple term for it.

“So I—are you listening, Mr. Stark?” Even now Peter still calls him Mr. Stark, they started their…almost bang buddy system months ago and he still calls Tony ‘Mr. Stark’ and Tony used to think it was him being an ass but now it’s…almost affectionate.

What the hell is this kid doing to him?

Tony is sliding his hands over Peter’s spideysuit—newest model, he’s been experimenting with new textures and carbon fiber—and doesn’t stop. He’s actually trying to make sure there are no problems with the mesh—the excuse is such bullshit, he’s not surprised Peter just rolls his eyes. Peter isn’t in his lap for once, leaning against the lab table and completely unphased as Tony continues to feel him up. Tony’s…actually not trying to get the kid hot and bothered, his real reasons for doing this are infinitely as pathetic though.

He’s…he’s nearing his forties, been to several orgies, one of which he _KNOWS_ streams on PornHub—and yet, something in him he can’t place right now…needs to touch Peter. Needs to get acquainted with the feel of muscle, of him warm and alive and relaxed under Tony.  No one actually relaxes in Tony’s general vicinity anymore that isn’t Rhodey, Pepper or Happy, and even then.  

“What?”  
  
“I was talking about Harry…he’s started dating Mary Jane. It’s kinda…weird? Cause I kind of…ok so it wasn’t dating, it was just like…I don’t know…anyway, they’re like dating, dating.” Peter shrugs and brushes his webbed fingers through Tony’s hair.  “I’m not mad about it—happy for them really. Just…they want me to go with them.”

“To what?” Tony’s hands brush down his torso—gives into the urge and pinches his stomach, makes Peter huff some laughter and then try to hastily recover with a glare. It never works—he can’t really be intimidating when he seems as harmless as a damn puppy.

“To prom.”

It’s like a bucket of ice water down his back and he freezes, Peter just tilts his head, confused.

“Alright, so prom—you’re not a terrible looking fellow. I can easily vouch for your sexual prowess though I think that could go a few different ways depending on your date—”

“Wait, what do you think goes on at prom?”

“It’s PROM. It’s a time old tradition of banging your date to bad dance music and resigning to never seeing them till the ten year reunion.” Tony’s not talking from experience, except he is. Peter just raises a brow, judgmental like he didn’t ask to have sex with the Iron Man suit barely a week ago. “What is prom now to the kids?”

“Uhhh, not THAT. You go with your friends and their dates—it’s like one big hangout only with chaperons and bad music.”  Peter says, completely unused to the idea of prom night as some sacred passage. To be fair, he’s so much more well-adjusted than Tony is even now.  “Besides…unless you’re saying you’re gonna be _MY_ date to the prom—then it’s not like I’m sleeping with who I bring.”

Tony considers him for a minute, then does the decent thing and asks the loaded question.

“Are you asking me to be your date?”

“Oh yeah, that’d go so well—I’d love to start a riot at my school.”

“So then—”

“—You doing anything _AFTER_ prom?” Peter looks at him, both hopeful and some failed attempt at sultry.

It’s sadly endearing.

“Mr. Parker, I’m not some cheap trick you can call at the end of the night—”

“—I figure you’ll be doing stuff anyways since you’re…you and probably have to go some big charity or something.  But uh…after?” Peter has no idea that Tony rarely goes to any black tie functions anymore—not unless Pepper or Rhodey - or both - force him to. Which…huh, he may actually have something. Peter laughs seeing the answer in his face, leans in to kiss him. Peter always kisses softly and almost shy even through all that they’ve done together.

“Only if you promise not to come in drunk off your ass.”

“Yeah, I’m not _YOU_.” It should sting cause that’s exactly what Tony did at his prom, but once again, Iron Man suit sex. He just snorts and goes in for a filthier kiss, finally moving to remove the new suit.

*

There's a lot about their relationship that isn't fair, especially to Peter.

Peter is fresh faced, tough like a weed, and just as resilient. But he...he is so unequipped to deal with Tony's brand of shitshow, hell, Pepper could barely handle it and it was her job for years. And to be honest, it shouldn't be Peter's burden to deal with—he's just a damn kid (no matter how old he gets, Tony's always going to vividly recount that fast talking brat in his Aunt's apartment). He's 18 and never been in a serious relationship. He deserves better than some broken billionaire twice his senior.

At least, that’s what Tony keeps telling himself, tries to keep himself grounded because he’s so good at turning dependence to love and…it’s not exactly working but he’s trying.

*

“You…You weren’t in love with me at fifteen were you?” They’re lying in bed, Peter sleepy and sweet with post-sex drowsiness. Tony tends to make sure he falls asleep after Peter does (another glorious holdover from when he and Pepper were living together and they both started having the screaming nightmares and memories at the same time) so he’s entertaining himself with some new cellphone app with virtual cats that never seem to visit when he’s around but always eat his damn food. If it feels a bit too much like his current home situation with the rest of the Avengers sans Rhodey or Vision then that’s on him. “Please say no.”

“Are you serious?” Peter’s disbelief should be insulting but Tony’s relief overrides it all. He scoffs a laugh. “Definitely not.”

“Thank Christ.”

“I did masturbate to you though. Once.” Tony almost drops his phone. Peter does this weird almost giggle, shrugging slowly. “You asked.”

“I didn’t need to know _THAT_.”

“If it makes you feel any better—I also masturbated to Johnny Storm at one point in time so—”

“—Shockingly, that doesn’t.”

“It’s unbecoming to be jealous at your age.” Tony snorts, not bothering to look up as he refills the cat food bowls again with a tap. He’s going to find this Tubbs cat one day and rewrite his damn code.

“I’m surprised you know what ‘unbecoming’ means.”

Peter takes Tony’s other hand, brushes the worn knuckles with his own.

“Course I do…it’s what you are, isn’t it?”

Tony tries to smother him with a pillow.

*

“I’m not going to say anything till you say do.” Rhodey announces across the table from him one day, eating cereal that is 60% dehydrated marshmallows and 40% actual cereal. He’s in military fatigues, and on robo legs #4—these are practically bionic, the only detracting factor is that Rhodey made him remove the rocket boosters in the heels (which...yeah ok understandable why). Tony likes to joke that he’s like Inspector Gadget only infinitely more terrifying. Naturally Natasha is smirking openly as she pours herself some coffee. She’s in a sweater and blue jeans but Tony knows she could still garrotte him with dental floss. All things considered, it’s a pretty good morning. They’re all here and no one is yelling at them or telling them they killed anyone so that’s good. Great, even.

These moments are rare.

“What?” Rhodey will be cleared for active duty soon, has been doing everything but fieldwork for the Avengers and for the military—impossible to tell though since he still finds time to keep Tony and his issues all together. “Something on your mind, Lt. Col?”

“I know how this goes, Tony—so I’m not going to say anything till you want to talk.” Rhodey continues and takes another bite of diabetes incarnate. He takes a few thoughtful chews, as Natasha puts a mug in front of Tony with suspicious timing.

He’s pretty sure this is their version of caring...or some kind of intervention.

“Just be careful.”

Tony raises a brow because he can play the game as well as the rest of them. He refuses to crack first.

“Aren’t I always?” If it’s a little mean, well, so is this whatever the hell this is.

“No, but you’re trying to be.” Rhodey shrugs and takes another bite of cereal, Natasha takes a sip from her own mug in a move that’s somehow conciliatory. “And that’s progress.”

*

They need to tell Aunt May one day. If only because Tony’s ego can’t really handle this whole secret relationship thing—ok fine, mostly his guilt can’t handle it. He’s not sure how to approach it and his timing last time well, it could’ve gone better.

He doesn’t…he knows how this looks and how badly it can and will end—and he’s not afraid, he’s just embarrassed.  After all, his experience with this kind of thing tends to be limited to one night stands; he’s never actually followed up on pursuing actual relationships.  

Which is what this thing is.

Sort of.

God, Tony really hates how this whole thing reduces him to feeling like he’s fifteen.  How could jailbait be so vanilla—he’s not even sure. Just another fucking circumstance of the clusterfuck that is his life—it’s not like their sex is anything super exotic either.  It’s not bad by any means—it’s just not as scandalous as everyone suspects but never outright says to his face. Besides the Iron Suit sex thing and the whole deflowering him on Tony’s desk thing—which is really just par for the course.

Tony considers just how much of a party foul it would be to ask Pepper what the sane and normal approach would be.

He already knows how quickly it could destroy the fractured pieces of their attempts at friendship though. Instead he just checks the burner phone from Cap and wonders if he’ll ever get a message or call that Cap disapproves or approves.

It’s an irrational thought but Tony’s head is full of those these days.

*

Norman Osborn shoots him some weird (read: judging) looks when he shakes his hand as they’re presented to the Paparazzi for this black-tie event that Tony doesn’t really remember much about, only that it somehow benefits Peter’s school and others like it in his district so hey sure why not.

He wasn’t expecting Norman Osborn to be here too, but whatever—he plays polite as cameras flash around them.

“Heard you started mentoring Peter Parker.” Norman’s a pro, keeps smiling as he hurls an accusation out of the corner of his mouth. Tony wants to roll his eyes.

“Problem, _Norman_?” Two could play this game, they continue to shake hands, as another gaggle of cameras flash. “Unless you’re trying to call ‘dibs’ then you’re a little late for that.”

“Peter’s a good kid, helped keep Harry out of trouble more often than not. He’s usually a good judge of character.” Norman releases his hand and bellows a laugh for their audience.  “See you inside, Mr. Stark.”

Tony wants desperately for Osborn to trip and break his nose on the way inside. Even calculates how hard the bastard has to hit the floor for there to be blood.

*

The fact of the matter is Tony's relationship with Peter is different, at the heart of it, the real reason _WHY_ is haunting. It lives under his skin, pulsing and glowing like something alien within. On his more melancholic days (when the UN is being particularly pissy, when he realizes he's failed to save yet another group of people because he had to wait for _CLEARANCE_ ), it bubbles up in his chest. He feels the bright tang in his mouth almost like the arc reactor's back in his body.

He never used to have these problems...fine, that's a lie. Tony's always had a weird outlook on himself but then the PTSD and the blood on his hands only made it worse.  Tony's just not used to the sheer amount of failure that seems to occupy his life now. He's doomed himself to a life of public service, of being a government-sanctioned peacekeeping force and he can even feel the disgust curl in himself.

But there are countries falling, people dead because of _HIM_ and his damn heroics and he can't do much but bite his tongue. He's no damn martyr that's for sure, but he knows he's made too many mistakes. Lost too many people...almost lost more even.

He's not healthy, it's not healthy—but he's not trying to find himself at the bottom of a glass and in between the thighs of Las Vegas's finest—but Tony isn't going to deny himself. He doesn't even have the energy to lie to himself these days.

Because out of all the hang-ups (there are so many) he has with his relationship with Peter, he knows the most damning one...is that he needs Peter and his blind adoration more than Peter needs him.

Out of all his relationships, even the last one with Pepper, he's never been so out of his element.

Tony often feels like everything he touches turns to ruin and yet he can't give up the one person who doesn't look at him with pity or anger or even fading resentment.  Life goes on, Cap's still MIA with his old family-killing war buddy, the rest of the Avengers try to function as a unit—but Peter Parker is the one thing in his life, in the past three years, that he hasn't let down.

That hasn't seen everything but still seen some and still acts like he's Tony Stark, inventor of the Iron Man suit, superhero—not a murderer held in check. Tony knows dependence, has found ways to change the nature of it to people—to Pepper and now...now it's Peter.

Tony knows what this means.

How badly this will end.

And yet.

*

“I don’t know what I have to do convince you that I’m not some dumb kid, Mr. Stark.” Peter’s angry, actually angry, which is rare. Tony’s starting to realize maybe his throwaway comments about Peter meeting a ‘real boyfriend in college’ weren’t so appreciated after all.  “What’s so strange about the idea that I like being with you?”

“Why?” Is all Tony manages, and this…this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He’s not even sure how they even got to this point, only here they are—arguing in the living room even though Rhodey and Natasha are home and can easily hear them over the projector on a rare not-date night. It hurts to say it but he has to be realistic. “Peter…I’m going to be 40 when you turn 21.”

“So? You act like you’re 21 all the time—why do you keep acting like I was forced into this?” This is definitely the wrong time to notice the definition in Peter’s arms but Tony’s not one for denial (which is why they’re in this damn position in the first place). “What do I have to do to make you see me as an adult who made this decision on my own?”

Tony opens his mouth, shuts it.

“Just because I’m younger than you and this is my first…you know, _THING_.” Peter still blushes whenever they talk about their not-dating that is probably dating at this point and it should one day not be endearing but that day is not today. “I don’t know what I got to prove to get you to stop acting like I’m some mistake of yours, cause I’m not.”

“Not yet.” Tony’s mouth moves on his own and Peter throws his hands in the air. “What?”

“Are you sure _YOU’RE_ not the 18 year old?” Peter demands, and Tony is definitely offended by that remark, is going to tell Peter he’s offended by the remark, but then Peter laughs. “I’m going to buy you sad vinyls so you can go cry your feelings to them.”

“Hey.”

“Well, you don’t want to listen to me—so, I’ll go and order uh—what was popular during your time? Disco? Or was it grunge? Did they have phonographs instead? ”

“Point taken, junior.”

“Is it?” Peter blinks at him innocent, completely not taking any of Tony’s bullshit. One day Tony’s going to push him too far—that day isn’t today.  Because there is no oncoming apocalypse, no countries on the verge of collapsing, no one to don his armor for—instead there’s a smart mouthed kid—ok, man—calling Tony out like the best of them.

A small, tiny part of Tony thinks ( _hopes, prays_ ) that maybe…this could work. Whatever the hell it is. 

Outwardly he concedes with a sigh: “If you must know young’un—we had the greats.”

“Such as?”

“Sit your plebeian ass back down on the ’ _Avengers couch_ ’ and we will educate your poor sheltered mind.”

“Oh my god, I call it the ‘ _AVENGERS COUCH_ ’ one time—”

“One time is all it takes sweetheart.”  Tony explains as he takes Peter’s hand and pulls him back.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've got one other story maybe in the works for this series but we'll see how it goes lol. I honestly didn't plan to make this a series but here we are I guess.


End file.
